Johanna and Brad don’t know it yet, but we’ve already submitted the paperwork for them to adopt us (no offense, Mom and Dad, but paying adult bills is expensive and we know you already took care of us for half of our lives so we don’t want to ask you to have to do it again). Surprise, Johanna and Brad! You want us, right? Please? We won’t make too much noise living in your basement, and we can provide free babysitting services in exchange for whiskey slushes and bacon tortellini. We don’t know how to work a boat, but we’re sure we could figure it out. If you don’t sign the adoption paperwork, can we at least pretend we’re the cool aunt and uncle to your kids who aren’t really related to anyone in the family but the kids grow up under the misguided assumption that we’re actually blood relatives? Or are Laurel and Sam too old to fall for that at this point? Okay okay, we’ll settle for photographing your family every once in a while and being friends on the side. We love you all. A lot. Thanks for bringing us into your lives, feeding us, driving us around on a boat, showing me the true wonderfulness that is Garden & Gun and Duke’s mayonnaise, and being awesome.